Drinking Game add-ons

a few more for the faithful...

19. Blyleven refers to a double play as "a pitcher's best friend"
20. Blyleven referring to the sound of a broken bat as "a great sound"



And since I did get blackout drunk after Tyner's home run, I officially demote the act of a Jason Tyner homerun to just "two drinks".

So you're saying we have a chance?

Ever since the Jason Tyner homerun, there is something in the air- Saturday and Sunday's games against Cleveland looked like vintage 06 Twins- the plucky squad who would steal games at the end of the game. Saturday night we victimized Joe Borowski after Johizzzle basically kept us in the game. Sunday CC Sabathia was a monster until a comedy of errors allowed us to get ahead, and Lew Ford punctuated the fact with a 9th inning home run.
Suddenly things don't look so bleak for Twins Nation, despite the fact that we were greeted with news of Luis Castillo's departure to Shea Stadium. Gone is our gold glove caliber, perpetually limping, ball chopping everyday second baseman. And in return you ask?
Some minor league prospects with rather unflattering stats. Ya. Luis Castillo for two rather anonymous minor leaguers. That's trade value right there.
Well, with Castillo's departure, that leads me to believe there is going to be a 2nd baseman-by-committee; Alexi Casilla, anointed the 2nd baseman of the future, was called up from Rochester in wake of the Castillo trade in order to get some more big league chops. I would imagine Casilla will get a fair amount of playing time until the later innings. Which leads me to Nick Punto. Castillo's trade will allow Punto to move out of the hot, bright, spotlight of 3rd base, where despite his stellar defense, his offense has been, well, not there. Brian Buscher will continue to start at 3rd, where the hope is that he provides some pop at the plate- quietly Punto will slide to 2nd where his defensive strength is needed up the middle, and can serve as a defensive replacement for Casilla.
My roommate is the flag bearer for a theory that Castillo's trade sets the stage for an incoming salary, that the trade won't be the only one, but just the first.
So far we are up 2-0 on Kansas City, in the first game of an 8 game homestand. The 2nd half of the homestand you ask?
The same Cleveland squad we took 2 of 3 from. Who is also the Wild Card Leader. Who is ahead of Seattle and the Yankees, two squads who aren't quite sucking it up this year. So our work is cut out for us, although Detroit is slumping of late, so in a perfect world, the divisional race isn't out of reach by all means, but the issue is that our Twins club needs to go on a prolonged run of good baseball, like a 6-2, 7-1, 8-0 homestand- none of this win a series, suck it up in the next bullshit. We are very fortunate to be at this position, considering how up and down this year has been. Funny enough that the starting pitching, which I thought would be a hot button issue at the turn, has been rock solid, notably Baker, Garza, and of course, Santana. Its a matter of getting the bats going...or perhaps its just the clubhouse mood? After his pinch hit double yesterday, Mike Redmond made the "Smell Em" motion-a gesture that signified a mood that the 06 team carried during their stellar second half last year.

Since I'm on the topic...

...this site has updated info on what the logos and jerseys will look like for most of the NHL teams, since alot of clubs have altered their logos a bit to coincide with the new jerseys.

http://www.geocities.com/capn89/

Re: A Glimpse

This is what I was talking about concerning the jerseys. And hopefully they don't have any of that horseshit vertical striping that alot of the new jersey designs do.

Battleship

a nice little ditty about the newly-signed Matt Kassian, enforcer extraordinaire.

http://www.twincities.com/wild/ci_6490019?nclick_check=1

Someone needs to kick Mike Russo in the ass, the Pioneer Press has been running articles on Wild Prospects all week...us Strib subscribers got one freaking article.

The Aftermath

Well I hope everyone got blotto last night- Bart and Hilde I'm looking in your direction. I just hope that you guys didn't fall asleep on the bathroom floor and later in the corner of my room like I did.

So the Twins got off the schnide last night, beating the Tribe 3-2. My roomie and I are in the midst of recovering from the aftermath of the Jason Tyner home run, which conveniently coincides with the usual Sunday matinee game. After the consumption of greasy morning food (corned beef hash is where its at in my opinion) its time to hunker down and watch some baseball.
Garza's on the mound today, who as of now, has been just pumping mid-90's fastballs to Joe Mauer- after the first two runners reached base, he's managed to strike out Victor Martinez and Travis Hafner. (Doesn't Hafner remind you of those big brawny baseball players that were in the old Disney cartoons?)
I kinda like the Brian Buscher kid who is getting a cup of coffee with the big club- he has this look to him like he's a gamer. And to no ones surprise, he's riding pine today. I guess getting the game winning RBI to snap a terrible losing streak doesn't have any pull. But hey, its ok, we got Jeff Cirillo starting at 3rd today.
Quick edit, Garza struck out the side after getting Ryan Garko to swing at a nasty breaking pitch for the 3rd strike. 28 pitches in the first inning is a tad high tho.
The hot rumor floating around concerning our twins squad is Luis Castillo going to the Mets, who have a gaping hole at 2nd base. Scouts from both teams have been seen at each other's games, with the twins presumably trying to figure out who to ask for in return. And sense I don't really know shit about prospects outside of the Twins, I have no idea.
Other names that have been thrown around are Carlos Silva, Lew Ford, Joe Nathan, and Juan Rincon.
1-0 tribe, on Trot Nixon's double, scoring that fat-faced bastard Jhonny Peralta.
Garza has 5 strikeouts through 2 innings. His fastball, which he relies on a bit too much, has excellent location today. Grady Sizemore is the latest victim.

Johan Sounds angry:
http://www.twincities.com/twins/ci_6491168
I'd be pissed too if people were saying my blogging is falling off...

And the funniest thing about Jason Tyner's homerun? He got a text message from a teammate's girlfriend that read "Welcome to Manhood". Hahahaha...

Relive the Magic

http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070728&content_id=2116172&vkey=news_min&fext=.jsp&c_id=min

a glimpse?

I totally lifted this off the wild.com message board, but this may just be the wild uni's for the upcoming season. Now, in my opinion, if they can get rid of the white and replace it with that cream color (minnesota wheat is they call it), it would give the home sweater a sort of old school sweater look. And really, the white is horseshit looking.

Everyone's a Winner

Remember the Twins drinking game?

http://deucebydefinition.blogspot.com/2007/07/its-make-or-break-time-baby.html

And under the "get blackout drunk" section?

Well Jason Tyner just hit a baseball 352 feet into the Twins bullpen at Jacobs Field.

You know what to do.

Implosion!

Well, I think I am safe to say that the dream is over- the hopes that are repeat division titles, and even a playoff birth are done. Get the crying out of the way, speed up the grieving, and wipe those tears away.

Its ok. The Twins will live to be a factor in the toughest division in baseball again next year.

I can say this because this is a .500 baseball team (in fact, my roommate, who is as diehard as they come, was willing to admit such a fact to himself), an 81-81 team, a squad that despite its parts, is mediocre as a whole. There will be no lightning in a bottle (just many a bottle to the lips of Twins fans as we soak up the rest of the season), there will be no late charge for the wild card- our dismal performance in Cleveland tonight reassured us of that. We just aren't that team, the cardiac kids who made late rallies to win games- fuck man, we can't even score runs! What makes even the most optimistic fan with rose-tinted glasses even think so preposterously?

There is a quote out there made by a General Manager; I forget the name, but to paraphrase it, it goes "either you are building to win now, or you are rebuilding; there is no middle ground." Well, since Terry Ryan (who is worth savaging for this year's transactions) never made a move to help during the course of the year, chances are he isn't gonna do that with 3 days until the trade deadline. So, since we've fallen flat on our faces, let's start the rebuilding. Get some new faces, give the prospects some time, let's get the developmental ball rolling. I mean, if we ain't gonna take the division or even be close enough to sniff the ass of the wild card, then let's put the final 55-60 games to good use.

Joe Nathan can be had- he has plenty of value, and we have Pat Neshek (who is bound to take over the closer role sooner than later) waiting in the wings.
Juan Rincon? Sure- Matty Guerrier is there, and Rincon is a proven setup guy.
Jeff Cirillo? Yes, we might need a new pink backpack for the bullpen guys to humiliate the rookies with.
Rondell White? You can have him only if there are handicap ramps at the stadium- you don't want him blowing out the other calf going up the steps do we?
Nick Punto? Great fielder, but you don't have to worry about him sliding into first base anymore; a fly ball hitter is what he is.
Torii Hunter? Keep him. Once the contracts of Silva, Castillo, Ortiz, White, etc. are all gone, you got Torii money. He and Santana are must haves on this team, otherwise the Twins are gonna seriously piss off the fanbase.

It was a tough thing to do as a fan, to look yourself in the mirror, with your throwback Twins hat on, with your Pat Neshek-signed Baby Blue Twins Throwback Jersey behind you, and your Minnesota Twins air freshener in your car, and to say "my team is mediocre this year." At least we don't suck as bad as the White Sox right?

But in conclusion, I think the real culprit was Mike Redmond. Apparently that asshole didn't do enough naked walks through the clubhouse or come up with a fun catchphrase this year. What about "Let's try and score at least two tonight, guys" or "Even Baker is pitching his ass off!"

Typo

Move along, there is nothing to see here.

Time keeps on ticking...

http://www.twincities.com/sports/ci_6455721?nclick_check=1

There's something about Cook County...

...must be something in the water, because everyone I've ever met in Cook has been a bit...disorderly.

http://www.newsobserver.com/sports/story/648918.html

let me clear my throat

Bigfoot is Coming

http://www.startribune.com/1330/story/1319746.html


Yes sir. I'll spare you the rehashed rhetoric about the kid, and the mancrush I have on who he is as a player; but it says something when the brass is telling him that essentially a roster spot is his to lose. Yes, they have Koivu, Belanger, Moore, and Walz as centers as of now; but things can change.

I also like how Risebrough is willing to put his foot in the asses of Pouliot, Voloshenko, Stoner, and Olvecky (who I never really considered a "top prospect"; everything I've heard about the kid is that he would project as a "generic NHLer"). The problem with Pouliot and Voloshenko are that they are scorers; they have to score to be effective. Don't get me wrong, they can and will be difference makers, but they need guys to set the table for them, but also, they have to learn to be effective without the puck- hit, forecheck, whatever- at this point, if they ain't putting the puck in the net, then they are essentially invisible.
Stoner was on track last summer- he was a standout at the annual Traverse City Prospects Tourney until he dislocated his shoulder fighting (which I guess happens quite a bit, but he isn't all that great at it), and had a crappy season recovering from that. He can fulfill a need though, a tough presence on the back end.

From a hardcore rube prospective, I wish that the Wild Prospect Camp was available to public eyes...who wouldn't want to see 1st round pick Colton Gillies go up against Sheppard, Danny Irmen, new prospect Petr Kalus (fresh from Boston), etc.? That's the future man. Despite the fact that its July, who wouldn't want to see glimpses?

Who's Now...

Is complete Horseshit.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, Espn has the ongoing bit on Sportscenter entitled "Who's Now", which is a premise that determine the athlete who is the "most now", which I guess means "popular". There is a an elimination bracket, much like March Madness, with 4 sections.
So they'll have a matchup, and I'll use Tony Parker and Roger Federer as the (shining) example. So Stuart Scott will mediate the discussion between such sports luminaries as Keyshawn Johnson, Jessica Biel, Kevin James (a convenient Chuck and Larry cross-promotion), and Micheal Wilbon from PTI. They'll talk about the athletes and their accomplishments, and then argue over who is more "now"; they talk about accomplishments, personal lives, and some other asinine shit in attempt to decide who moves on. Here's essentially what happened with the Federer/Parker matchup:
Scott: "Federer is the top ranked tennis player in the world, and has won the past 5 Wimbeldons"
Wilbon: "he may go down as the premier tennis player of all time"
Keyshawn Johnson: "But Tony Parker is married to Eva Longoria, dog!"

And then fans vote online, and much to my amusement, Tony Parker moved on in the "tournament", mostly because he was married to Eva Longoria.

That's right, a good point guard on a great basketball team moves on over someone who may be the greatest male tennis player EVER because the point guard is married to some rail-thin diva who is a shitty actress. What a crock of shit.
The whole thing is like this- Kobe Bryant against Ronaldinho? Kobe wins, but if its worldwide? Ronaldinho in a landslide.
And to top it off, there is this awful theme song by T.I.
I can't wait for this fucking thing to get over with, so they can get back to talking about Arod, or Eli Manning.

Invasion of the body snatchers

Total Offensive Output in the Detroit Series: 6 runs.

Total Offensive Output Against the Angels through 2 games: 12 runs.


I'll leave the conspiracy theories up to you guys.

Da Open

With no disrespect towards the other major golf tournaments, you simply cannot beat waking up on a Sunday morning, pouring yourself a cup of coffee (or as I do, spice it up with some Bailey's), grab the local fish wrap off the front step, and hunker down and watch the British Open. There is something about the mystique of the Open- the way the courses look drab, bathed in earth tones, but so natural looking; the hills, the dales, even the sod-stacked bunkers look like depressions in the earth that had slowly became the hazards they are. Even the television coverage, despite being a high definition broadcast, retains that drab motif.
I love it.
The weather can change on a dime, from sun to rain, even to snow. The winds can be nonexistent at one hole, yet make the world's best look like little bitches on the next. Gone is the Nerf Golf that dominates the states, the "hit it high and let it stick" approach...no, its bump and run, its shotmaking at its finest, its a true test of one's skill.
I love it.
The Masters, yes, is a spectacle- wall to wall color, green splashed with the blooms of azaleas. It may be possible that Easter is celebrated not for the resurrection of the JFC, but for the Green Jacket. Often it provides superb Sunday Drama, but its not the Open.
The US Open, which is moreso a test of survival and resilience, comes on Father's Day. 2 foot high rough guards 1 foot wide fairways and undulating and bone dry greens.
It is our Open, our National Tournament, but there just isn't that "aura"...
The PGA, or "US Open Junior", just seems like a rehashing of the Father's Day Spectacle (or Debacle). Don't get me wrong, the Wanamaker means something in the world of golf, and is a test in itself, but my problem with the PGA is that its so similar to the US Open in set-up, that it is just kind of there- I truly believe that if the PGA of America would revert it back to Match-Play format that it would truly take off. Finally, the PGA would have a personality of its own.
But nothing beats watching the drama unfold half a world away while the bacon and eggs sizzle on the griddle. Watching UK folks, in the their (sometimes thick) brogues talk about local tales, or why holes are named certain things. The Claret Jug. Or even better, having the title "Champion Golfer of the Year".
The Open makes you want to play in horseshit conditions, in the wind, in the rain, just to test your mettle, and see what your game is made of. Better yet, the Open is the best tourism vehicle for the British Isles; I hear the food is horseshit, but who wouldn't want to hack their way through the fabled seaside links in England, Scotland, and Ireland, and I guess Wales? You know, get a local caddy, play through the rain and shine, then retire to tip a few pints back with the locals? Sign me up! Surely they have McDonald's in the UK...
But truly the best part of the Open, besides the courses, the trophy, the title, the history, the aura, the experience...

...when its all over, you still have an entire Sunday Afternoon to burn.

Coming to a Toy Store Near You!

In time for the Christmas season, here's a gift for all you local sports fans...Operation: Minnesota Sports Edition! Yes, you will love it! Your Kids will love it! Maybe even ornery ass Sid Hartman will love it!

Check out these maladies!

Joe Mauer's Leg!
Marian Gaborik's Groin!
Troy Hudson's Ankle!
Troy Williamson's Hands!
Kevin McHale's Brain!
Francisco Liriano's Elbow!
Adrian Peterson's Collarbone!
Matt Birk's Hip!
Wes Walz' BottomTeeth!

All Your favorite Minnesota Athletes and their injuries make Operation: Minnesota Sports Edition a hit the next time you have people over to watch the game! Or, Play it with your kids!

"Look daddy, I'm gonna try and get this one!"
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
"Oh little Sally, you just tweaked Marian Gaborik's Groin...again. Looks like Gabby's only gonna play 55 games this year"

See, fun for the whole family!

A Brief Recap of the Detroit Series...

Funny how the starting pitching was rock solid, yet we couldn't hit for shit. Pardon the rose-tinted glasses speak here, but its not like Detroit beat the hell out of us- we kept them near our pathetic level of offensive output. You know, if Joe Mauer or Jason Kubel had swung the goddamn bat at certain points...perhaps we wouldn't be 9 games back, which is mathematics-ese for "one foot in the grave".
Garza? Brilliant.
Santana? Damn good himself.
Baker? Solid.
Our bats? They left with Oakland.
To beat a cliche to death, they absolutely must take this series with the Halos, and attempt to get some steam building before they hit the road. Then they should all take up Voodoo, and start poking Travis Hafner and Magglio Ordonez dolls with pins. Because at this point, that's all there is left.

Posh and Becks

Saturday marks the arrival of David Beckham in the forum of MLS (or Lou Gehrig's disease), or America's attempt that is the phenomenon that is European Soccer. Beckham, famous for his bending kicks and marvelous skill, and his larger than life celebrity status, signed a 5 year $32 million dollar deal to play for the LA Galaxy. While soccer purists in the States are hoping Beckham is the catalyst that will turn soccer from a niche sport (and niche might be an overstatement) to a major player at the big kids table.
Beckham better be pulling rabbits out of his ass, because he'll be another fish in a pond with guys like Kobe Bryant.
And if he can't, at least they have a reality show starring his wife Victoria, former Spice Girl and grade A primadonna. So at the very least, one of these two are posed to remain in the spotlight, whether it be for being rail thin biatch, or an aging soccer "god" who has the salvation of American Soccer on his shoulders.
But the question I ask you is will we, as the american public, even give a shit if David Beckham does pull rabbits out of his ass?

Of course not. Not unless football, basketball, baseball, hockey, golf, NASCAR, poker, arena league football, bowling, and the National Junior Spelling Bee all fold.

Bikini Waxing Nostalgic

With a 4 game sweep of the Oakland A's, the Twins have gotten off to a roaring start to the second half; however, the parallels to 2003 do not mean that the maddeningly inconsistent Twins squad of 2007 will repeat the march to the division title. Can they? Sure they can. Will they? Who Knows.
Now, with the grain of salt out of the way, it was nice to see the Twins hit the ground running. Sunday's game was nice, considering the way that they won- nevermind that Matty Guerrier put Boof Bonser's effort in the shitter. Enter the reigning MVP.
I mentioned this to my roommate earlier; its not how Morneau gets things done, its when. Last season was marked by clutch hits, and this season seems to be a continuation of that. After Guerrier pissed away a lead, Morneau steps in after not doing shit all game (he sure kept Nick Swisher busy at first tho), and deposits a bomb in the upper deck. Instant Momentum. It was enough to give Luis Castillo enough gumption to bust out a triple despite his perpetually creaky trick knees. Joe Mauer gets one thru the infield, Twins win. At one point it looked like we were gonna piss it away (Punto drove in runs for fuck sake!) , and we turned it into a nice win to sweep a series that starts off a stretch that makes us or breaks us. Next up Detroit comes to town for 3; we've drawn to 6 games of Detroit for the Wild Card- 2 out of 3 or a sweep brings us closer, and we can get the proverbial snowball rolling. Once again, on the same hand, if we shit the bed, then we are no better off than we were before the all-star break, plus the realization that the Oakland series was essentially all for naught.
Besides what this series will do standings wise, it will also show some things about the Twins themselves:
1. Can Scott Baker follow up another quality start with another one, or will this be another performance that brings so much skepticism? I really think if Baker can get over the little hump which makes him so shaky, we can have a reliable piece of the rotation not just for the rest of the year, but for the next couple of years. Does he have the skill? Well, considering the 8 inning gem (3 hits, 1 run in a tough luck loss) he pitched in Detroit (we'll see a rematch of that game, Jeremy Bonderman is scheduled to face Baker), he has the tools. But, and this is a big but, he also has those performances (Chicago) that make you cringe. So what Baker will we get?
2. Can Matt Garza build off of the strong effort in Chicago, and start to gain the top-of-the-rotation form that many scouts project him to have? Garza, in my opinion, could be the catalyst for the rotation (nevermind Santana), which gives us that sort of swagger, not unlike what Franchise Liriano did for us last year. Garza showed a nice selection of pitches, and I think that the continuing work with Joe Mauer and Rick Anderson can really make Garza a formidable pitcher down the stretch. While the ChiSox boasted a meaty lineup (despite them not showing up to play that day), Detroit is just as meaty; except the Tigers are rollin'. Gary Sheffield is on fire, Placido Polanco is a thorn in our side, Pudge Rodriguez, etc...you get the picture.
3. Which one of the members of "Left Field by Committee" will step up and assert themselves as the everyday guy. I know Gardenhire has a hard-on for Jason Kubel, but unless he steps up and produces in the 6/7 spot, I feel the spot is up for grabs. Lew Ford has shown that when he plays everyday that he can hit; the same could be said for Jason Tyner. And to trump Kubel, Tyner, and to a lesser extent Ford, can move around the bases pretty well.
4. Can Garrett Jones produce from the DH role, giving us some semblence of power? Or is he just keeping that role warm for another aging former-somebody who the Twins will pick up hoping for one last hurrah (Bret Boone, Phil Nevin)?
I am excited for this series; we don't fear the Tigers per se; I think we fear not showing up and getting smoked.

Its make or break time, baby

Now that the all-star game is over, all the schmaltz, swag, and schtick have passed, baseball gets down to the nitty gritty. This is where we see who is a contender, a pretender, a MVP, or a chump. The Twinkies begin a ten game homestand against some legit opponents; The A's, the Tigers, etc. GM Terry Ryan has said that a trade is "likely", so get ready for us to get someone on the tail end of their career. Its also been mentioned that we are looking at acquiring Shea Hillenbrand, who was put on waivers earlier this season. Its nice to know that we'll only be spending a few bucks if we do get Hillenbrand, because you know, if he sucks (and he probably will), the Twins will only be out something like $7.50.
Rondell White's hamstring blew up now, so he's not coming back like speculated- maybe he should stop putting the 2 million dollars he's getting this year in his back pocket. All that weight would make my calf detonate and my hamstring give out too. So the Garrett Jones era begins (again), and as of right now, he's 1-1 with a run scored. A productive hitter is what he is.

But since this is crunch time, a veritable meat grinder where we see what our favorite team is made of, I feel it is my duty to bring some levity to the situation.

The official Minnesota Twins Drinking Game ( Television Broadcasts; Radio coming soon)
Drink one if:
1. Blyleven circles someone
2. Jinx Stat i.e. "Fausto Carmona hasn't won in his past 10 starts" or "Justin Morneau is 8-10 all time against so and so" or "Mike Sweeney".
3. AFLAC duck, at any stage of the game. Sometimes you end up drinking 3 beers on this alone.
4. You don't get the AFLAC (drink) Trivia question
5. Blyleven/Bremer don't get the AFLAC (drink) Trivia question
6. If the unathletically gifted bat boy around the bullpen boots a foul ball
7. When Blyleven talks about his birthday ("only 156 days til my birthday")
8. Anytime a camera man pans the crowd but ends up on an attractive female.
9. Whenever Blyleven mentions that "pitchers are the best athletes on the field"
10. Whenever Punto pops/flies out (better buy a 36 pack)
11. Anytime Mike Redmond gets hit with something (a foul tip, a bat, a runner coming in from third)
12. Any time Torii Hunter tries to decoy the runner when making a catch; only applicable at home.
13. Anytime a former Twins player is mentioned
14. Santana Strikeout
15. Any mention of Pat Neshek's delivery
16. A Camera shot of any couple celebrating a new marriage/anniversary at the game
17. Anytime Cuddyer chases a breaking pitch that is low and away
18. Anytime those fucking Treasure Island commercials come on, more so just to numb the pain of watching such "hilarity"

Drink 2 if:
1. The aforementioned bat boy makes nice fielding attempt on a foul ball
2. Gardenhire gets ejected
3. You get the AFLAC (drink) Trivia question right
4. Security fields a foul ball
5. Cuddyer throws somebody out

Get Blackout Drunk if:
1. Jason Tyner hits a home run
2. Blyleven drops the f bomb
3. Twins turn a triple play

This should be enough to get you guys started; or at least enough to help cope with what could be an equally frustrating half. I'm sure as the days go on I'll remember more, or come up with more, but here's to another great second half.

Not to be crass...

...but I hope Chris Berman goes mute. His schtick is pretty damn tiresome no matter the sport.


"HE HIT THAT BALL TO ALCATRAZ!"

You think he talks like that in everyday life? I wonder if his wife and kids are just to used to it that it doesn't phase them anymore...Better yet, does he talk dirty to his wife during sex?


"I wanna do you from the BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK!"

Mediocrity is frustrating

Ahhh yes, the all-star break; a time for the midsummer classic, the home run derby, the schmaltzy celeb softball game, and rousing songs by relevant musical acts like...Counting Crows? I don't know about you, but "Mr. Jones" gets me AMPED.
Its also a time to reflect on a rather uninspiring first half for our favorite team, the Minnesota Twins. Only 2 games above .500, 7 behind the wild card, and 8 behind the division lead; a team that produced 3 all-stars this year, whilst Pat Neshek was included in the fan vote...so 3 and a half all-stars. At times the twins were dominant (32 runs in the first two games in Chicago), and at other times non-existant (only 4 runs the last two of the same series). Sure, there has been injuries, but also some piss poor production also (nick punto I am looking at you), a rotating door rotation outside of Santana, Silva, and Bonser (who is on thin ice). We saw the debut of Kevin Slowey, who at times looked like Brad Radke in terms of control, but also at times looked like Brad Radke in terms of giving up moon shots. Scott Baker is feast or famine; Ramon Ortiz has been relegated to long relief. Matt Garza is the latest starter; hopes are high after a masterful season debut. However, anyway you cut it, our pitching rotation is a giant question mark. Remember, much of last years push was due to Francisco Liriano's dominance; you can find him sipping mai tais rehabbing his encounter with Tommy John.
Joe Mauer missed a month; and considering what happens when he plays, its a miracle Mike Redmond hasn't missed a month. Justin Morneau's done his best to play through injuries, although he looked ridiculous in the home plate collision with Miguel Olivo in Florida. After a small home run drought, Morneau seems to have hit his stride with a recent trip through the windy city. Seriously, without Morneau and Torii Hunter, we'd be battling the Royals for the cellar.
So what needs to change for us to be worth a shit in the second half? First, we need some stability from our starters; Santana is hitting his midsummer stride, so that leaves us a rather motley crew to ask this from. Carlos Silva, once considered dead, looked terrible in Chicago. Boof Bonser looks great for about 4 innings, then his fat ass hits the wall. Scott Baker is an enigma, capable of gems like the games in Milwaukee and the hard luck loss in Detroit, but also capable of games like Texas and Chicago. Matt Garza, who seems like the sentimental favorite, looks more seasoned than his time last year, but anyone can pitch one good game- so the true assessment will be how he does now that he essentially has a spot in the rotation. He is projected to have top of the rotation upside, but he is still relatively inexperienced at the Major League Level. Who knows though, maybe he could have a Liriano like impact. Baseball is funny like that.
Second, we need another bat. Morneau and Hunter can't be counted on game in and game out to shoulder the entire load- Mike Cuddyer's got to get his shit straight, especially since he is sitting in a very very desirable position in the lineup; behind platesetters Castillo, Mauer, and to a certain extent Jason Bartlett, and before Reigning MVP Morneau and Torii Hunter. Jason Kubel just plain pisses me off, and I need more consistency from his plow-pulling ass before I anoint him the every day left fielder. Nick Punto...put the fucking ball on the ground and run; but I have to imagine he is on a short leash because we need more than 3 pop-ups a game. Maybe it is high time for Terry Ryan to get off his ass and make a goddamn deal, before I lose my attention span and there is a fan mutiny. And I am talking a legitimate deal, not some "sign and hope" horseshit like Bret Boone and Phil Nevin. Get someone who can play everyday third base without being a liability, and can contribute offensively. We have pitching prospects up the yin-yang, so deal one for someone worth a shit. Twins Nation is getting pretty tired of hoping guys like Rondell (my calf exploded) White and Jeff (Kirk Gibson's knee double) Cirillo can contribute. And don't even think about bringing up Ken Harvey, just put that notion to rest Terry.
Third, we need the Tribe and the Tigers to falter. Because if 1 and 2 don't work, then we are bound for another mediocre half, and a 3rd place finish.

Just like a movie...

...just imagine Don Lafontaine as you read this.


In a world gone mad, where lunatic General Managers are throwing gobs of cash and multiyear deals at free agent NHLers, a new wind has blown; the tide has changed, and vengeance is now theirs...


Ya, so the Wild spent some of their Manny money today, signing Eric Belanger, goalie Nolan Schaefer, and resigned cult icon Wes Walz. On top of this, they look to sign Duluth native and alleged cheater Sean Hill, a roughneck defenseman, and just signed Houston-bound center Steve Kelly.

Gotta love those AHL depth moves.

Belanger, a center, is a defense first kind of player; more of a checking center than anything. He does have the talent to put up some points, but lets not go out thinking that he's gonna throw up a cool 70 points this year. He is a good face off guy, which we sorely need. Belanger, unfortunately, is the injury bug's bitch, and had an awful playoffs with Atlanta this past spring.
Nolan Schaefer looks to be Josh Harding's replacement in Houston, but does have some NHL experience. He looks to be Harding's backup when Josh finally assumes the starting role.
And Wild nation will be treated to one last hurrah from Wes Walz; I'd assume that this will be it for Wes, and he'll ride off into the sunset. A fan favorite, and also a favorite of the front office, it is nice to see Walz return for one more season.
With the addition of Belanger and the resigning of Walz, it will look to be a more difficult task for James Sheppard, the '06 first rounder, to make the squad out of camp; however the brass is high on what he can do, and may fit in seamlessly- Sheppard is in a tough spot, as he has nothing left to prove in the QMJHL, but is too young for the AHL. So its St. Paul or bust, baby.

Oh don't you go to San Francisco...be sure to where some flowers in your hair

As many of you know, Pat Neshek is in the running for the fan-decided last spot on the AL All-Star Team. Seeing as how I, a pro-twins pundit, am on the Neshek bandwagon, here is the link to his website (an interesting one if you got the time), which in turn, has a clicky-pop to the MLB voting site.

www.neshek.com


Let's send our favorite sidearm pitcher to San Fran...

Scott Baker Suicide Watch

The poor fellow, who many feel is on thin ice with his starting spot as it is, goes 8 innings, 3 hits, 1 earned run, and gets the loss. Baker was phenomenal tonight, only throwing maybe 80 pitches; to Detroit's credit, Jeremy Bonderman pitched very well also. But damn man, Scott Baker deserves a better fate than what he got tonight.
-a great stat: Nick Punto has the 2nd lowest Batting Average of any everyday player in the American League. Watch out Mendoza line...
-For me anyways, it was a treat to hear Ernie Harwell call some of tonights game on ESPN; I grew up on Harwell calling Tigers games when I lived in Michigan, and he is Detroit's version of Herb Carneal.

Moving Manny and the Free Agent Frenzy

It was official today, Manny Fernandez and his contract were shipped to Boston on the first day of the Free Agency Signing period; in return we received Petr Kalus, who is established himself as a legit power forward/scoring prospect, and a 4th rounder in 2008. We were teased with the prospect of the Boston/Fernandezz connection around Draft Day, but at the time Boston viewed giving up the 8th overall pick for a moody goaltender with a big monetary commitment as being an ill-conceived tradeoff; however, after their selection of Zach Hamill, Boston GM Peter Chiarelli must still have felt that his tandem of Tim Thomas and Hannu Toivonen weren't going to get the B's to the playoffs this season.
Petr Kalus, a 6'1" 200 pound winger, was a 2nd round pick from Regina of the WHL in 2006. A gritty player of the power forward ilk, Kalus had 30 points in the AHL at Providence, and had 3 goals and 1 assist in his 9 NHL appearances this last fall. He has a wonderful skillset, a mixture of power and finesse, and plays with an edge; the Czech has been known to drop the mitts. I have heard he could stand to be a bit nastier, but with the current "grit and character" movement the Wild are on, Kalus is a great pick up. The 20 year old is NHL ready, and will contend for a roster spot this fall, which is good for wild nation since top forward prospects Benoit Pouliot and Roman Voloshenko were less than stellar this past year.
Now, on to the circus that is now NHL Free Agency; Daniel Briere...7 year deal with Philly. Brian Rafalski...5 year deal with Detroit. Jason Blake...5 year deal with Toronto. Long term deals were the motif today, with the 3 aforemention were many who had signed long long term deals. Closer to home, Mikko Koivu was locked up for 4 more, and I'd expect PMB to get the same.
The Rangers made a huge splash, locking up both Scott Gomez and Chris Drury today, although its their defense that needs work; just like the Rags of old.
Marty Skoula was resigned for cheap, meanwhile Todd White struck gold in Atlanta.

Ahhh...to be an NHL free agent.