Its make or break time, baby

Now that the all-star game is over, all the schmaltz, swag, and schtick have passed, baseball gets down to the nitty gritty. This is where we see who is a contender, a pretender, a MVP, or a chump. The Twinkies begin a ten game homestand against some legit opponents; The A's, the Tigers, etc. GM Terry Ryan has said that a trade is "likely", so get ready for us to get someone on the tail end of their career. Its also been mentioned that we are looking at acquiring Shea Hillenbrand, who was put on waivers earlier this season. Its nice to know that we'll only be spending a few bucks if we do get Hillenbrand, because you know, if he sucks (and he probably will), the Twins will only be out something like $7.50.
Rondell White's hamstring blew up now, so he's not coming back like speculated- maybe he should stop putting the 2 million dollars he's getting this year in his back pocket. All that weight would make my calf detonate and my hamstring give out too. So the Garrett Jones era begins (again), and as of right now, he's 1-1 with a run scored. A productive hitter is what he is.

But since this is crunch time, a veritable meat grinder where we see what our favorite team is made of, I feel it is my duty to bring some levity to the situation.

The official Minnesota Twins Drinking Game ( Television Broadcasts; Radio coming soon)
Drink one if:
1. Blyleven circles someone
2. Jinx Stat i.e. "Fausto Carmona hasn't won in his past 10 starts" or "Justin Morneau is 8-10 all time against so and so" or "Mike Sweeney".
3. AFLAC duck, at any stage of the game. Sometimes you end up drinking 3 beers on this alone.
4. You don't get the AFLAC (drink) Trivia question
5. Blyleven/Bremer don't get the AFLAC (drink) Trivia question
6. If the unathletically gifted bat boy around the bullpen boots a foul ball
7. When Blyleven talks about his birthday ("only 156 days til my birthday")
8. Anytime a camera man pans the crowd but ends up on an attractive female.
9. Whenever Blyleven mentions that "pitchers are the best athletes on the field"
10. Whenever Punto pops/flies out (better buy a 36 pack)
11. Anytime Mike Redmond gets hit with something (a foul tip, a bat, a runner coming in from third)
12. Any time Torii Hunter tries to decoy the runner when making a catch; only applicable at home.
13. Anytime a former Twins player is mentioned
14. Santana Strikeout
15. Any mention of Pat Neshek's delivery
16. A Camera shot of any couple celebrating a new marriage/anniversary at the game
17. Anytime Cuddyer chases a breaking pitch that is low and away
18. Anytime those fucking Treasure Island commercials come on, more so just to numb the pain of watching such "hilarity"

Drink 2 if:
1. The aforementioned bat boy makes nice fielding attempt on a foul ball
2. Gardenhire gets ejected
3. You get the AFLAC (drink) Trivia question right
4. Security fields a foul ball
5. Cuddyer throws somebody out

Get Blackout Drunk if:
1. Jason Tyner hits a home run
2. Blyleven drops the f bomb
3. Twins turn a triple play

This should be enough to get you guys started; or at least enough to help cope with what could be an equally frustrating half. I'm sure as the days go on I'll remember more, or come up with more, but here's to another great second half.